Let it Burn
by Extraho Incendia
Summary: The Chantry is gone and with it all hope of compromise.  Where will Hawke stand.  F!Hawke/Anders.  Rated for slightly racy description may change to M possible future language or imagery.
1. The Heart Wants

A/N: While this is not by any means my first Fanfic it is my first Dragon Age fic. I was at the beach the other and "Hurricane" by 30 Seconds to Mars (the one featuring a collaboration with Kanye West) came on. Immediately I had this vision of Anders destroying the Chantry. (in a friendship romance) Only one of my many playthroughs.

I'm not going to post all of the lyrics this is based mostly on the first bit anyway but give it a listen if you are so inclined. I believe I will do an opposite p.o.v. with the next part of the song. I do not own Dragon Age it's respective characters names or any other material taken from game play. Not for profit just for fun. Anyway enjoy!

A/N the second: Edited 6/12 because the end wasn't reading right to me. So I rewrote it.

No matter how many times that you told me you wanted to leave  
>No matter how many breaths that you took but still couldn't breathe<br>No matter how many nights did you lie wide awake to  
>the sound of poison rain<br>Where did you go? Where did you go? Where did you go?  
>(Heart beat, a heart beat, i need a heart beat...)<p>

Tell me would you kill to save a life?  
>Tell me would you kill to prove you're right?<br>Crash, crash, burn, let it all burn  
>This hurricane's chasing us all underground<p>

_"Hurricane (feat. Kanye West)" -30 Seconds to Mars_

The world erupted in a magnificent and terrible burst of light shattering glass and demolishing stone. The ground shook in a series of concentric ripples I didn't think solid land could accommodate. The sky turned dark and ashen. The air that only moments before had carried the clean salty smell of the sea was filled to the bursting point with screams and acrid smoke. And hope, that fragile thing, died helpless amidst the desecration of Chantry and Divine.

I nearly wept with wishing it hadn't come to this.

Meredith and Orsino continued to bicker. Two old dogs worrying the same bone. How could they not see? The concept of blame was moot now. All that was left was action and reaction. They had pushed and branded and bled. And backed against a wall there had been nowhere else to go.

"_**I should go. I'm no good for you."**_

_**I shake my head turning to the bed and begin pulling at the ties to my robe. This isn't the first time we've played this scene. **_

_**I can feel his eyes on me. If I turn I know what I'll see. He'll be standing in front of the fire head tilted, eyes half lidded and soft. **_

"_**Justice does not approve."**_

"_**And you?" I let the robe slip just enough to bare the tops of my shoulders. **_

"_**I….." he exhales sharp and shaky. His cloak makes a distinctive rustle as it hits the floor. Then his breath is hot on my skin. **_

"_**I should leave." He whispers against my hair. **_

"_**So leave."**_

_**He never does. **_

_**When it comes to me he will not compromise. **_

There could be no compromise. No peace. I honestly didn't think it had ever been possible anyway.

I stared, for what seemed like an eternity, as destruction final and complete rained down on a city already too brittle.

Debris fell around us bright and blazing. By luck or fate or the will of the Maker himself we stood untouched, a cacophony of heartbeats in the eye of the perfect storm.

I turned to look over my shoulder at him. There had been words. Bitten out in strange clipped tones so rough I had expected them to draw blood as they passed his lips. And his features hard, angry, resigned, and underneath…..terrified. The whole conversation had been nuanced and fraught with deep meaning. I remembered none of it.

My eyes burned. My chest ached. There was a crack like thunder. My hand stung. He held his jaw bright red finger marks beneath his long tapered fingers. He was startled. So was I. I gasped.

_**He chokes and gasps tearing violently at the bedclothes. The fabric gives with a hiss and he is free.**_

_**Outside lightning fills the courtyard. **_

_**The patter of fat drops on the window and the booming claps of thunder have always been soothing to me. Especially at night.**_

_**But not to him. He's told me very little about why the rain holds such sway over him. I know only that is has to do with his endless escape attempts and a punishment both cruel and unusual.**_

_**Another ear splitting crash sends him diving for the floor. I follow wrapping my arms around him. He clings to me shuddering.**_

_**One final Maker-be-damned boom has him sobbing in earnest. It shatters my heart and among the pieces I find fury.**_

"_**It will be all right love. Just breathe." **_

I drew in a breath. Another. The other's watched me. I had led them here and as before they had followed. Not without question. Never that. But before I had always had answers.

Now? What could I say? He was mine. I should have known. I think I did on some level. I stepped closer to him. All the answer I would give.

A sudden lack of discordant voices drew my attention back to Meredith and Orsino. There would be war. On this one sordid topic they could agree. They turned to me.

Always to me.

I cocked an eyebrow and laughed the sound at odds with the turmoil enveloping the city. They looked at me as though I were mad. Maybe I was. I had to be.

Then a final question was thrown at my feet. Where would I stand?

On my left the crest of the Templar. Right hand of the chantry, charged first and always to protect, sacred oaths twisted and warped by fear and mistrust. Not always without reason.

On my right the robes and staves of the circle. Supposed haven for those Maker blessed who have been ripped from mother's arms. Keepers of talents and knowledge borne in the blood. So easily broken by sword or by self.

In the beginning I would have been rooted to the spot with indecision. Weighing all sides. Willing myself to see past the chaos into heart of it and do whatever was _right_. I would have torn myself in two in an effort to save everyone. But he'd told me once that I couldn't go on like that forever. Eventually I would have to choose. Would I live with power and influence or purpose and passion?

"_**I can't give you a normal life. If you're with me we'll be hunted. Hated. The whole world will be against us."**_

_**He pulls me to him. His mouth is soft and warm and desperate. He tastes faintly of Embrium.**_

_**I smile. I can't believe anyone could truly hate this man. He may operate outside the circle and outside his order but the small subversions he perpetrates are more than made up for by the healing he does. So much more talented than any other in Kirkwall He turns his back on no one. Not even a Templar. **_

_**The boy can't be more than eighteen. A harrowing gone south has left him with one arm nearly severed at the shoulder and more blood out than in. **_

_**It's a bleeding miracle him walking out of the clinic two hours later. Sore and alive. He has to lean quite heavily on Ser Thrask but he's walking. **_

"_**Here take these." Anders says his eyes on the floor. "They'll help with the pain." **_

_**The potions come dear as we've had scant work these past few weeks. Later I'll make him drink one himself. I can tell by the set of his shoulders he'll need it.**_

_**Ser Thrasks' hand hovers at his belt for the fleetest moment then drops. Coin would be an insult. He lifts his chin to me. I tilt my head. He leaves. **_

_**I turn to find Anders lying across one of the clinic cots eyes closed one arm thrown carelessly above his head. The other lays over his heart.**_

My heart spoke to me then. Lifted it's head and roared. _Apostate._

Champion of Kirkwall they called me but at my core that is what I was. What we will _all_ be.

"Apostate." I whispered, rolling the word around on my tongue. I found I rather liked the harsh bitter flavor.

Squaring my shoulders I pulled my staff from my back and brought it down hard against the ground. Fire flared out from my flesh and crawled up the rune-scribed dragonbone. Behind me the heavy scrape of ironbark. The sigh of delicate and deadly steel. The soft twang of Bianca's song.

Meredith's face twisted in rage. "You are a fool champion. Kill them all."

With that command everything dropped away. My world was whittled down, focused like a sunbeam through a magnifying glass condensed and purified until all that was left was purpose. And passion.

I was a spark of fury. A promise given to a broken lover in the swell of a poisoned storm.

My hands tingled engulfed in snapping blue and violet. Flame chased away by frost. My breath came fast causing my pulse to jump and dance.

The few templars Meredith had left behind were no match for us, reduced in short order to a mass of pulpy corpses and death rattles. I surveyed the carnage and the blood spattered faces of my companions. Only one sat apart from the group.

He had his back to me head bowed. Tension rolled off of him in waves.

He didn't turn at my approach. Though I think he might have flinched at my footsteps. He spoke so softly. Not an apology simply a request for understanding and acceptance of whatever justice I felt it necessary to mete out.

Justice. Ha! I nearly laughed out loud with the irony.

I didn't want this. I had never wanted any of this. To hold _any_ life in my hands. Yet here I was as deep into it as a pebble at the bottom of the Waking Sea.

He wanted me to take retribution. Instead I offered redemption. I don't know who was more surprised.

I headed toward the gallows a final glance over my shoulder at the others. I had no right to ask them to follow me further. My heart swelled when they did.

He held out his hand. My fingers twined with his the missing pieces to a puzzle only he could hold.

The chantry teaches that magic was created to serve man.

Tonight my magic would serve this one.


	2. What the Heart Wants

A/N: While this is not by any means my first Fanfic it is my first Dragon Age fic. I was at the beach the other and "Hurricane" by 30 Seconds to Mars (the one featuring a collaboration with Kanye West) came on. Immediately I had this vision of Anders destroying the Chantry. (in a friendship romance) Only one of my many playthroughs.

I'm not going to post all of the lyrics this is based mostly on the first bit anyway but give it a listen if you are so inclined. This is the same scene opposite p.o.v.. I have an epilogue in the works with other parts of the song. I do not own Dragon Age it's respective characters names or any other material taken from game play. Not for profit just for fun. Anyway enjoy!

No matter how many times that you told me you wanted to leave  
>No matter how many breaths that you took but still couldn't breathe<br>No matter how many nights did you lie wide awake to  
>the sound of poison rain<br>Where did you go? Where did you go? Where did you go?  
>(Heart beat, a heart beat, i need a heart beat...)<p>

Tell me would you kill to save a life?  
>Tell me would you kill to prove you're right?<br>Crash, crash, burn, let it all burn  
>This hurricane's chasing us all underground<p>

_"Hurricane (feat. Kanye West)" -30 Seconds to Mars_

The sky lit bright as the sun. Brighter than I had expected. Smoke and ash spread through the streets. The earth quaked and shuddered nearly tossing me off my feet. There were screams, cries for help to Andraste, to the Maker, to anyone who would listen. Still chaos filled the air. I tried to ride the wave of Justice's righteous anger as another small part of _me _burned away. I wondered idly just how much of me was left.

I could have wept with wishing it hadn't come to this.

They were arguing again. Like two spoiled children over the same broken toy. Madness. Complete madness to continue at each other this way. There was no longer any need to place blame. There was nothing left for us but action and reaction. They had pushed, hers had branded, his had bled until finally with no hope in sight there had been no where left to go.

"_**I should go. I'm no good for you."**_

_**She shakes her head turning to the bed and begins pulling at the ties to her robe. My heart trips over a beat. This isn't the first time we've played this scene. **_

_**I try to tear my eyes away. To grab some sort of control. But it's already too late. Inside I am on fire. **_

"_**Justice does not approve." I protest knowing it doesn't matter. **_

"_**And you?" She lets her robe slip just enough to bare the tops of her shoulders. **_

"_**I….." I am lost. I let out a shaky breath. Pull my cloak from my shoulders snapping the chain in the process. It hits the floor. The distance between us is covered from one heartbeat to the next. I let my breath skim her shoulder. She shudders leaning into me. **_

"_**I should leave." I whisper my face buried in her hair. **_

"_**So leave."**_

_**I know I should, she deserves so much better than me, but I won't.**_

_**I never do. **_

_**When it comes to her I will not compromise. **_

There could be no compromise. I had made sure of that. There never could have been.

She stood there, her back to me, face raised to the blackened sky as the remnants of the chantry rained down hot and heavy around us. Somehow we all remained untouched by the maelstrom that raged through a city already far past its' breaking point.

She turned to look at me. "Is this why you wanted me to distract the Grand Cleric?"

Her eyes. Once so full of trust. Of love. The hurt there pierced straight through to the core of me and for a moment my resolve wavered. I opened my mouth to say something anything that would make things right again. But there was nothing.

I lowered my gaze. My heart became a dense broken thing sitting in my chest.

Would she ever forgive me? Did I want her to? _"I have ever said she was a distraction. You did what needed to be done. Quit bellyaching about that bitch."_ And another piece of me burned away.

Meredith and Orsino were arguing again. Their words meant nothing. All just useless posturing.

I let Justice have my tongue he was trying to wrest it from me anyway why fight? I was so tired of fighting. When he had finished with me I was empty. Raw.

There was a crack like thunder. Heat flared across my cheek. I reached up startled. I could feel the imprint of each and every one of her fingers like a brand. She gasped.

_**I'm choking and gasping tearing violently at the bedclothes. The fabric gives with a hiss and I am free.**_

_**Outside lightning fills the courtyard. Inside I can feel the ghost of a bolt as it climbs my leg. **_

_**She tells me the patter on the window and the thunder has always been soothing to her. **_

_**Not to me. I feel the rain filling my nose, my mouth. I can't open my eyes for fear that the icy stinging drops may do some irreparable damage. And how will I ever escape if I can't see?**_

_**I toss and turn remembering the ache when they hit the sensitive interior of my ear. How I pulled at the bonds till my wrists bled. Wishing for once that I wore the heavy suffocating robes they had issued to me. I was naked to the waist. Feet bare. I had managed to get on the bad side of a very nasty Templar. **_

_**Another ear splitting crash and I am diving for the floor. She follows wrapping herself around me. I cling to her shuddering as the dream begins to fade. **_

_**One more boom and I lose it. The tears burning their way down my cheeks fall as much from shame as from the half remembered torment of a nine year old boy. **_

_**Beneath my ear her heart pounds hard and fast and steady. Her voice when she speaks is tender with the faintest edge of steel.**_

"_**It will be all right love. Just breathe." **_

I drew in a breath. The other's watched her. Waiting for some sort of sign.

What I had done. There was no precedent among our ragtag group of outcasts for such a thing. They had followed her, not without question. Never that. But before she had always been quick with an answer. Spoken or otherwise.

Now it seemed as though all of Thedas held it's breath.

She took three steps. They brought her to my side. She said not a word.

A sudden lack of discordant voices drew our attention back to Meredith and Orsino.

There would be war. On this one maker-be-damned topic they could agree.

There was just one more thing to settle.

They turned to her. As they had so many times before.

She cocked an eyebrow and laughed. It was a strange hard sound so full of bitterness I could hardly believe it had passed her lips.

Then a final question. Where would she stand?

On the one side the armor and shields of the Templar. Perhaps there had been an honest and true intent there once long ago. But now. Maker, it is said that absolute power corrupts absolutely. That is what they had over us. Absolute power. The power of life or death. In more ways than one.

On the other the shackles and chains of the circle. Disguised as well tailored robes and ornate staves they might be but they were shackles nonetheless. The circle had had its' purpose and it had failed. I knew I couldn't be the only one to see that. We were no better off there than as apostates. At least on our own we had a chance to fight the abuse.

I waited pulse pounding in my ears. Until now she had refused to take sides. Always the diplomat. The noble spirited champion trying to save everyone. I had warned her that it would eventually come to this. She would have to choose. Life always forces us to choose. How would she live hers?

In safety as the Champion of Kirkwall with all the power and influence that commands or as an outlaw true to the blood in her veins? A mage at the whim and mercy of chance driven by purpose and passion?

"_**I can't give you a normal life. If you're with me we'll be hunted. Hated. The whole world will be against us."**_

_**I wish she'd walk away. If she does I think it might kill me.**_

_**She stands there looking at me like she can see into my soul. Her eyes go soft. She exhales in a way that I've become familiar with. Fighting for control. **_

_**I don't let her. I pull her close swallowing her next breath. Her mouth is warm and pliant and tastes faintly of honey. **_

_**She smiles and this time it is my breath that catches. How can she look at me so when all anybody else sees is an abomination. Albeit an occasionally useful one. My talents as healer have kept the worst it from my door. That and the fact that I'm unable to turn my back on someone who desperately needs healing. Not even a Templar. **_

_**The boy can't be more than eighteen. A harrowing gone south has left him with one arm nearly severed at the shoulder and more blood out than in. **_

_**It's a bleeding miracle him walking out of the clinic two hours later. Sore and alive. He has to lean quite heavily on Ser Thrask but he's walking. **_

"_**Here take these." I say keeping my eyes on the floor. "They'll help with the pain." **_

_**The potions come dear as we've had scant work these past few weeks. But the thought of the boy in unnecessary pain and the hope that maybe he'll look kindly on his charges in the circle make it a worthy sacrifice. **_

_**Ser Thrask stands in the doorway facing Hawke for several seconds but I pay little attention to what they are doing. I can feel my shoulders beginning to droop. I am so very tired. **_

_**My knees hit one of the cots lining the back wall. Good enough. I fall across it one arm stretched over my head. I close my eyes and try to calm the beating of my heart.**_

"Apostate."

It was nothing more than a whisper but it still sent my heart tripping. I watched her face as she made some sort of awful peace with herself.

Apostate. It's what I was. What we would all be. Somehow I had never thought of her that way. She had always seemed above that.

Squaring her shoulders she pulled her staff from her back and in a movement both terrifying and magnificent she brought it down hard against the ground. Fire flared out from her skin and crawled up the rune-scribed dragonbone.

The others followed suit.

Fenris with his massive ironbark blade, white brands flaring blue.

Isabela a wicked grin spreading across her face as she languidly pulled her daggers free.

Varric and Bianca ready at her back for better or for worse. Always.

And me at her side for what it was worth.

Meredith's face twisted with rage. "You are fool champion. Kill them all."

Everything about her changed in that instant. The smiling smart-assed woman I had broken every rule to love was replaced by the diamond-eyed scrapper I had fought beside so many times.

She did what she did best attacked with the earth and the elements and I tried to keep her in my line of sight. Sending a blast of healing if she started to flag.

The few templars Meredith had left behind were no match for us, reduced in short order to a mass of pulpy corpses and death rattles.

After a cursory glance to make sure that all of us were yet standing I collapsed onto an overturned crate.

I could feel her standing behind me like I could feel the solidness of the ground beneath my feet.

I didn't apologize. I was not sorry. I did what had to be done so that one day we would all be free. I cannot be other than what I am. If that means death then so be it.

I awaited her judgment. Her retribution for the crimes I had committed not just against the chantry but against her trust.

Instead of the bite of a blade I felt the warmth of her hand.

I turned to her. In that hand she held redemption.

It was the last thing I had expected and at that point the thing I most desired.

I reached out tentatively and took it with a promise to myself to be worthy of it. And a prayer to the Maker that I'd be able to keep that promise.

We turned toward the Gallows and the certainty of an uncertain future. Together.

A future I would do anything to protect.

Even burn the world to ash.


	3. What it Means to Fear

A/N: Here is my epilogue I may or may not do another opposing pov. Seems like it might work but not sure so….. I do not own Dragon Age it's respective characters names or any other material taken from game play. Not for profit just for fun. Anyway enjoy!

No matter how many deaths that I die, I will never forget  
>No matter how many lives that I live, I will never regret<br>There is a fire inside of this heart and a riot about to explode into flames  
>Where is your God? Where is your God? Where is your God? ...<p>

Do you really want?  
>Do you really want me?<br>Do you really want me dead?  
>Or alive to torture for my sins?<p>

Do you really want?  
>Do you really want me?<br>Do you really want me dead?  
>Or alive to live alone?<br>_"Hurricane (feat. Kanye West)" -30 Seconds to Mars_

The stones were awash with blood. The smell of it thick and metallic in the night air. It was quiet now. It had been so loud. The silence was a vacuum sucking even the sound of our battle weary breaths into the void. We stood, the six of us, back to back surrounded by the remnants of the Templars.

She was at the fore staff held with desperate ferocity. Nobody moved.

The Knight-Commander was dead. And as sure as her life had drained from her body the need to fight had drained from her men.

Hawke came out of her crouch in one fluid movement and in what was meant to be either a show of trust or an act of bravado she stowed her staff at her back.

One by one we all followed her lead until the lot of us stood there warily eyeing one another as cuts and bruised began to proclaim their presence. I could feel Justice digging at the corners of my mind. Damn near crazed with frustration because I had wrested back control of my body. _"Why do these templars yet live?" _I shoved him down. Hard enough that I felt a warm trickle as my nose started to bleed.

She started to back away. Slowly. One arm slung across her torso.

"Are you alright?" I whispered. She waved me off with a curt nod.

After a few steps she turned. It went against my every instinct to give my back to those men the way she did but I had trusted her this far.

She held her head high as she lead us away from the courtyard. Not a single faltering step.

Until we were out of sight.

She crashed to her knees startling all of us. It was then that I noticed the trail of blood that was a little too bright a little too wet to have come from her shoes. I should have known.

I turned her gently onto her back. She hissed but didn't fight when I pulled her hand from her side. The wound was jagged and long and leaked in a steady stream pooling on the ground beneath her.

I started to pull the edges of the tear in her tunic so that I would have better access to the damaged flesh. My fingers were already tingling with healing magic. She grasped my wrist. Her hand was so cold.

_**My hands are cold. My feet too. As a matter of fact there is very little of me that isn't. I suppose it could have to do with the copious amounts of blood currently flowing from the half dozen puncture wounds decorating my back.**_

_**My vision swims in and out of focus with the jarring footsteps of the elf carrying me slung over his shoulder. He is stronger than I expected.**_

"_**It's not much farther." She says.**_

"_**I am aware." He answers a keener edge to his usual sharp tone. I don't imagine he's terribly happy to be carrying me.**_

_**Up a flight of stairs and I am assaulted with the antiseptic smell of elfroot. The clinic. **_

_**I am unceremoniously dumped onto a cot the breath that's knocked from my lungs pulls a groan out with it.**_

"_**That will be all Fenris. Thank you." Her voice is hard. Angry. **_

_**His is no less so as he bites out several curses in Arcanum. **_

_**Then she is hovering over me. "Which one?"**_

"_**Which what?" I whisper. The edges of my vision have gone completely black.**_

"_**Which potion? Anders? I can't heal you without the potion. Anders!" Her hand across my face leaves a sting and brings me back long enough to answer.**_

_**Then it's on my tongue warm and spicy. She's holding my head in her lap and, for the first time in a long time, I feel safe. **_

"Not here. Not safe."

"To the void with safe. The others can keep them back. I only need a few minutes."

"No. Not much better off." She pushed away from me. Tried to gain her feet. Failed.

I wanted to argue more, opened my mouth to do so, but the clang of armor and shields from the courtyard above cut me short. It seemed that not all of the Templar agreed with the decision of Acting Commander Cullen regarding our retreat and as I glanced around I realized she was right. We'd carried the stench of blood with us because we were all losing it in varying degrees.

I lifted her, cringing as warmth ran down my fingers and into cuff of my coat. "Hold _on_ damn you."

I'd never moved so fast in my life. Through alleys, across the market square, beyond the warehouses to the docks and Isabelas' ship. I noted, with something dangerously akin to absolute terror, that she'd gone limp in my arms somewhere along the way.

On board Isabela leapt and ran among the rigging pulling and swinging with panic driven tenacity. Then she nodded to Merrill and the earth itself pushed us out onto the open sea.

I'd already laid her on the deck my coat beneath her head. Her breathing was ragged and shallow heartbeat a fluttering erratic thing.

I tore open her tunic heedless of modesty. I'd waited almost too long already.

_**I've waited so long. Almost too long. **_

_**I've tried to convince myself that this is a passing fancy. That I follow her out of gratitude for her selfless aid with Karl. **_

_**I have never been a good liar. I love her. Maker help me she deserves better but I can't help myself. **_

_**Still I find myself standing outside her door unable to reach out and grasp the handle afraid that it will be locked against me.**_

_**Even more afraid that it won't.**_

_**After what feels like forever I reach out. The door swings open and I take a step inside. Then another.**_

_**I find her in the main bedchamber staring into the fire. **_

_**Kissing her takes my breath away. Inside I am a riot, a storm of want and need.**_

I needed to stop the bleeding. I put my hand over her side calling up more power than I thought I had left in me. The stream of blood slowed to a trickle then stopped. The edges of the wound, torn as they were, began to slowly knit back together. I could feel the other's eyes on my back. If she died I had no illusions as to what my fate would be.

If she died I wouldn't fight them. I couldn't live without her.

Though the flesh had started to mend her breathing did not improve. Nor did the unnatural beating of her heart.

"No." I said. This was not happening. "Please."

Her breath hitched once, twice. Then stopped. Mine did too. The only difference was that mine started up again almost immediately.

I leaned down and put my ear to her chest. _Maker __**please. **_Nothing. The air became thin. My vision swam. I sat back on my haunches fear anger panic pain all running together.

Twining and twisting and building and burning and ohdearmakerIjustcan'tpleasedon'tdothistome! I threw my head back a scream clawing its' way up my throat. Because that's what you do when you can't do anything else. You scream until you can't anymore or until something snaps.

Something inside me snapped. Knocked me back on my ass then it was my hands that were burning. Like the shimmery heat at the heart of a fire. Like hope.

I pressed them to her chest and my lips to hers. Her body bucked up off the deck feet drumming a rapid tattoo. Wind whipped around us gaining strength the longer I held on forcing the others below decks. She was rigid back curved up tight. Everything rose to a deafening crescendo crashing over us and slamming me hard against the deck.

When I came to I was in a bed. Red silk and black lace festooned the walls. Gold accented everything that wasn't wood and some things that were. My back was against the wall. I tried to move but there was something heavy pressed against my chest. I dug through the coverings hoping to dislodge whatever it was pinning me so.

My fingers caught in something soft and familiar prompting the weight to shift and move.

Her hands emerged first as she shoved the last of the coverlets away. She didn't open her eyes simply turned and buried her face against my chest with a sigh.

I lay back pulling her closer. I pressed my cheek against the top of her head and with a fervent prayer of thanks I drifted back to sleep.

_**I haven't been sleeping well. The idea that my being here can possibly bring the Templar down on her eats at me. **_

_**She says she doesn't care what anyone says. She doesn't care that I am what I am and I love her all the more for it. And it's that love that makes me fear for her.**_

_**But she is a stubborn woman. **_

_**So I spend most nights either wandering the manor or writing at the large desk in the drawing room. Sometimes she wakes and comes looking for me. Usually with that glint in her eye. Being an amenable sort I am always happy to oblige. **_

_**Once she found me in the kitchen. Poor Bodahn.**_

_**Sometimes she sleeps through my absence and I find my own way back to the enormous four poster bed burrowing in next to her just in time for the sun to creep in through the window and say….**_

"Good morning! Isabela says you've slept long enough. Two days is more than hospitable and she would like her quarters back. Please. Oh and would you care to join us for breakfast. Varric's been in the galley all morning. Did you know he could cook? Well he does and quite well if I do say so much better than Fenris anyway. Isabela's not so bad once you get past the rum and….oh….umm I'll just go on up then. See you in a minute?" Merrill bolted from the room her nervous laughter following her up the stairs.

I sat on the edge of the bed stark naked.

"That wasn't very nice." Hawke giggled from behind me. "Poor Merrill. You've scarred her for life you know."

"I sincerely doubt it. Besides what else have I to sleep in? It's not like I got a chance to pack before we left."

"Beast." She chided pushing at my back. "Get up. I'm starving and did you know that Varric is a veritable chef?"

"I had heard." I said pulling on my trousers. I reached down and tossed her her own.

Two shirts later we were headed for the door.

She grabbed my arm turning me to her. Her face was serious. Far too serious for the mood I was in. "I was in the fade but it was like nothing I've ever felt before. I thought I heard your voice. What happened?"

I smiled and pulled her into my arms kissing her until she went soft.

"Let's go eat." I twined my fingers in hers and lead her to the stairs. "Have I ever told you about the time I was sailing with the wardens and…."


End file.
